On that same thread, you need to answer your own questions, and inform your spouse of those answers.
Do you need help? Tell them! Are you looking for support? Speak up! Do you just want to cry while being spoon-fed brownie batter? Let your spouse know! More often than not, my husband just wants to help. And so long as I tell him exactly what I need and how I expect things to pan out, he delivers.
What doesn’t help is me griping about being “tired” and “stressed out” without giving him a clear way to help me. Sometimes, I just want to vent. And when I tell him I just want to vent, he sits and listens. Sometimes, the house gets cluttered, and I need for it to be set in order again. He will either offer to help, or watch our son while I do what he refers to as “rage cleaning”. It’s wonderful that he offers these options to me so that I might regain a sense of calm, but I can’t expect him to offer it on his own.
I. Have. To. Ask
Another thing we try to do is, what we call, “Embracing the Suck”. It often happens when we know life is about to get crazy. For instance, my husband had to be out of town for his birthday, while I was at home with our son. I didn’t like the idea of him being away from us, especially on his birthday, and he never likes having to go away for business. He’s an optimist, and tries to get me to look on the bright side. However, as a passionate pessimist, such a sunshiny approach doesn’t sit well with me. So, I’ve started saying this:
"This is going to be awful, but it will be better if we acknowledge it’s going to be awful, and embrace it together."
I sent cookies to his hotel and made sure I texted him birthday wishes throughout the day. He called me as often as he could so we wouldn’t miss him too much.
We put our heads down, tell each other what we need, and support each other all the way through. Being Orthodox, it’s important to acknowledge that life is struggle and to face it head on.